Would you sign up your kid for the cheerleading squad?
On cringes. And leaning into them. On belief. In yourself and others. On lifting up those around you. Even when to not do so would be easier.
The hidden wisdom of “the cringe”
My kids go to gymnastics. It’s a massive place with all the fun equipment on which they climb, roll, flip, do all the stuff. Along with gymnastics classes, cheerleading classes are held in the same space.
Predictably, my girls have asked and pleaded and begged to be signed up for the cheerleading squad. We have drawn a line. Something about the genderism of cheerleading. Something about the outfits that are too sexy and not age appropriate. Something about being entertainment or eye candy. Despite us knowing that it's a very challenging athletic activity that I’m certain helps kids build resiliency, stamina, strength.
But then… I’ve challenged myself to flipping this narrative. What do cheerleaders actually stand for? What am I missing about cheerleading? Is the cringe real or something to learn from? Can cheerleading have more to offer than I think? The quality of enthusiastically and vocally supporting something or someone else, when doing so isn’t necessarily the obvious or first thing you’d do. Being the heartening presence for another with unequivocal conviction. Standing by. Witnessing. Once you see it, you cannot unsee it.
A belief contagion
Kate Winslet went somewhat viral a few months ago with a pep talk she gave to an 11-year old who was interviewing her. She doesn’t hype up the kid you might expect. Instead she channels a whole-hearted belief in the girl’s competency. She looks her straight in the eyes. Her confidence is contagious.
Kate Winslet Gives 11-Year-Old Reporter the Sweetest Pep Talk
“This is going to be the most amazing interview ever. (...) Because we’ve decided it is going to be. We’ve decided right now, me and you, that this is going to be a really fantastic interview.”
What if our every encounter, work-related or personal, started with a simple decision that something was going to be fantastic? What if instead of fearing how a meeting, a difficult conversation, or even a family dinner might go - we knew that it would go amazingly because that’s what we’ve primed ourselves for?
Where the cheerleaders at (in corporate America)?!
It so happens that I just went through a period of transition at work. I changed roles. Exploring my next chapter meant talking to a lot of senior leaders at the company. And thinking a lot about who I want to work for. The choice ended up being less about the job itself and more about the leader and the team I’d be working with. This element doesn’t get talked about enough.
What kind of energetic field do I want to come in contact with for the foreseeable future? What nervous systems will surround me? How will I be believed in? Who will champion and cheerlead me in the intermissions?
Some leaders get so attached to your background, past story, whatever seemingly defines you, they want to square you away in a box. Other leaders focus on your potential, character, intrinsic qualities. The rest is just noise to them. “Our team is awesome, and awesome recognizes awesome” as my new boss put it.
Faith advances
A few weeks ago, Maggie Love’s
email subject, in the forever scroll-and-delete of my inbox life, somehow managed to make me pause.
“I believe in you.”
Four words. A reminder. A simple gesture. Why do we not get more emails like this? Maggie, in a sea of crypto bros, is building a platform for women to join the defi movement. Lowering the barrier to entry to a highly intimidating space. All while reviving the idea that something as simple as belief in another person can transform a life.
Why aren’t more leaders leading by believing? Can we flip the “benefit of a doubt” to a “faith advance”?
"You say impossible, but all I hear is 'I'm possible.'"
I was really late to the Ted Lasso train and - for all of you I am sure - this feels dated. But because the impression it left is still fresh for me, not to mention it would be a big miss. (If you haven’t watched it - do yourself a favor.) There’s so much to draw on from Ted. Here are some of my favorite outtakes which - I think we can all agree - everyone could use more often. In how we talk to one another. And in how we talk to ourselves.
“Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?”
“Do you believe in ghosts, Ted?”
“I do, but more importantly I think they need to believe in themselves.”
“Just listen to your gut, and on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what.”
“There’s something I should warn you of: I’m only going to get more wonderful.”
“A good mentor hopes you move on. A great mentor knows you will.”
“Congratulations, you both just met a cool person!”
“I think things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one.”
“Don’t fight back, fight forward.”
“And in the end what’s more important, being right or being kind?”
“Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing.”
“Living in the moment, it’s a gift. That’s why they call it the present.”
That’s all I’ve got for you, this time around. A brief reminder to choose belief over shade. To champion a fellow human when doing otherwise would be easier. To remember that the energy we put out is the energy that comes back.
Random collection of things
🌸 Gentle and Powerful by
. Short essay on containing multiples and challenging assumed manifestations of qualities such as “power” or “gentleness”. Really enjoying this Substack lately.🏃♀️ As a long-time no music, no podcast, no distraction runner, I loved this post from
. Sort of wish I wrote / published it (I actually have a similar essay half baked somewhere in the vastness of my G Drive…) Great reminder to always focus on the journey, not the destination.📱🛑 Reading “The Anxious Generation” by Jon Haidt of
at the moment. This is a must read for every modern parent who wants their kids to be kids for as long as possible. (So possibly every modern parent full stop?) I’m still struggling with a gap from “yes, this is a problem” to “I know exactly what I’m going to do as a parent”. Work in progress. If that’s also a mental space you’re occupying at the moment - reply to this email, would love to talk to you.
I loved this framing, thank you Maria!
❤️